i think the saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy
because they know what it’s like to feel absolutely worthless
and they don’t want anybody else to feel like that
(Source: circumcisions)
Why sleep
Is anyone there? Can anyone hear me? Is this the part where I truly give up? Why does everyone hate me, God? What did I do? I’ve made mistakes. I have tons of flaws. But why do people hate me, God? Should I keep cutting myself to drain the sins out of my body? Should I take the whole bottle to puke out all the horrible things I’ve done? Should I hang myself and break my neck and actually appreciate what you have given me, God? Is that it? Are you punishing me because I don’t appreciate everything I have been given? I’m sorry, God. I’m so sorry. I am thankful for everything you have given me. Is it too late? I need to ask you for help, God. I want to die. I need your help, God. My whole life I’ve been punished, God. I can’t take it anymore. I was so little, God. Why did you make me touch him, God? Why did you let him do that to me, God? Was I bad little girl? Was I stupid? Why did he leave me, God. I have no dad here for me, God. Did I deserve it? Was I not good enough for my dad? Does he hate me? Are drugs better than me, God? God, I don’t want to live anymore, please. Forgive me for everything I’ve done. I’m crying out loud. I’ve been crying for so long my tears are running dry, God. What do I do? Is it selfish to want to leave, God? Would I let down my mom? Would I let down anyone, God? I need help, God. Help me. I am scared to death.
